for Deven, Kathryn and Cameron

I know that on Mother's Day, I am the one who is supposed to be "honored." And you all know that I think the concept is stoopid. I am of the "show me, don't tell me" school. Show me as in: Don't send me a card early in May. Help me do "stretchies" when I am feeling lousy. Answer my questions about the wise use of herbs. Call me just to say hello, how the heck are you. Recommend a movie I should (or shouldn't) see. Listen to me when I want to talk about Henry the Wonder Pup. (We don't need a psychologist to tell us he is clearly your "replacement.")

And by definition I wouldn't be a mother without you, so I am thinking this day should be about you. Expectant parents will say they just want children who are healthy and happy. That's not really true. When we have actual children, not theoretical in utero ones, we want a whole lot more. Here is what I would have said 20 to 30 years ago: We want potty training, tidy rooms and table manners. And 10 years ago: we would like no calls from the principal (or police). We'd like our liquor cabinets to stay intact and our cars in the driveway with a full tank of gas when we want to use them. We'd like you to bring home gentlemen callers who speak in complete sentences and have reasonable hygiene. And NOW, I have the new and hard won perspective of it's not about any of that, It is not "all about me" or what I want. It is not about me at all. It's about you. The moments of pride in your achievements -- academically (college in four years - WOW), athletically (cross country???? surfing????pole vaulting???? where did any of that come from) were great, fabulous actually, but I know I would have been equally impressed if you had not done any of that. My proudest moments?were more of watching you be kind and patient with me, more importantly kind and patient with your grandparents. And watching you struggle through some hard personal stuff and come out the other side.

So what about the three of you? On the occasions when we are all in a room together here is what I see: The first thing that strikes me is three so entirely different women it is mind boggling, but three women who each in one way or another are courageous, talented, hard working, forward thinking, warm, bright, funny, capable, strong and engaging.  I love seeing you be good to yourselves and seeing you each in your own ways "giving back"! I am proud to know you and I truly often ask myself: How could one woman be so lucky?