for Deven, Kathryn and Cameron

I know that on Mother's Day, I am the one who is supposed to be "honored." And you all know that I think the concept is stoopid. I am of the "show me, don't tell me" school. Show me as in: Don't send me a card early in May. Help me do "stretchies" when I am feeling lousy. Answer my questions about the wise use of herbs. Call me just to say hello, how the heck are you. Recommend a movie I should (or shouldn't) see. Listen to me when I want to talk about Henry the Wonder Pup. (We don't need a psychologist to tell us he is clearly your "replacement.")

And by definition I wouldn't be a mother without you, so I am thinking this day should be about you. Expectant parents will say they just want children who are healthy and happy. That's not really true. When we have actual children, not theoretical in utero ones, we want a whole lot more. Here is what I would have said 20 to 30 years ago: We want potty training, tidy rooms and table manners. And 10 years ago: we would like no calls from the principal (or police). We'd like our liquor cabinets to stay intact and our cars in the driveway with a full tank of gas when we want to use them. We'd like you to bring home gentlemen callers who speak in complete sentences and have reasonable hygiene. And NOW, I have the new and hard won perspective of it's not about any of that, It is not "all about me" or what I want. It is not about me at all. It's about you. The moments of pride in your achievements -- academically (college in four years - WOW), athletically (cross country???? surfing????pole vaulting???? where did any of that come from) were great, fabulous actually, but I know I would have been equally impressed if you had not done any of that. My proudest moments?were more of watching you be kind and patient with me, more importantly kind and patient with your grandparents. And watching you struggle through some hard personal stuff and come out the other side.

So what about the three of you? On the occasions when we are all in a room together here is what I see: The first thing that strikes me is three so entirely different women it is mind boggling, but three women who each in one way or another are courageous, talented, hard working, forward thinking, warm, bright, funny, capable, strong and engaging.  I love seeing you be good to yourselves and seeing you each in your own ways "giving back"! I am proud to know you and I truly often ask myself: How could one woman be so lucky?

Key Living

Melanie ended up with a rental car which had hand crank windows, omg. That should serve her well in coping with the primitive conditions in Bhutan or Burma should she get there. Yes, I am kidding (about the coping, not about her hoping to go there.)

Just a little slice of life in the Keys: Melanie asked after 48 hours, "What day is it?" clearly sliding right into the conch head vibe. Key Brain Drew calls it.

And she came out with a quote which is indicative of her life. "I would love to go snorkeling , but first I have to solve the Bangladesh problem." Now, she wasn't being presumptuous, she was speaking of her personal Bangladesh scheduling problem, not societal problems, but the statement out of context hung out there in space as we laughed for about 5 minutes.

Speaking of primitive, Melanie came bearing much needed provisions: a small sewing kit, a supply of newspaper bags as our small grocery consumption does not keep up with the demand we have for plastic bags. Anyone who owns a dog or two will know of what we speak. AND the Sunday New York Times.

The whirlies

I had them today. We went out to Looe Key Reef, snagged a mooring ball and were having a fine time. Somebody is feeding the fish there, that's for sure. We were greeted by big schools of yellowtail and sgt. majors. Every time we disturbed the water in any way, they came flocking over en masse. I am trying to think of a good analogy: like paparazzi on my heroine Paris Hilton? Continuing to have a fine time. Saw little yellow flying fish and a smallish Portugese man o'war. Deven went right in and saw barracuda and a shark (of undetermined ancestry, but BIG.)  And suddenly I am feeling a little queasy, had half a coke, felt better. Jumped in and paddled around, the water was gorgeous, perfect temperature, clear, clear clear. The various corals were stunning. Back on the boat and uh-oh, definitely queasy now and worse, feeling weak in the knees and hands shaky, so.... trip aborted. The whirlies however came when I staggered on to land and flung myself on the chaise. Bleh, I said in an extremely heartfelt manner. And it felt as if I was thinking with maybe the top inch of my brain and the rest of it was in standby mode. And now, 5 hours later, hooray I feel fine. Why does this happen sometimes and not others??

I could scream

I could scream because while we went to bed under a pile of blankets, we woke up to 70 degree temps and not a puff of wind...kind of the anti-when Kat and Joe were here-weather and looking excellent for fishing. Darn.

Henry continues to spend every waking moment staring into the canal. For a while we thought maybe he was admiring his handsome reflection, but now we think he is monitoring the fish. So far he has not jumped in unless people are in there -- either swimming or in a kayak. Everything I do I do with half an ear poised listening for the big splash.

Great late lunch at El Saboney a Cuban restaurant in Key West. I could have sworn we were in New Orleans.

the rest of the story

During the rest of the afternoon there was running, bike riding (on a seat made of concrete), watching of the Pebble Beach pro-am, napping (jet lagged Deven), Drew fielding 1,000 phone calls and enthisiastic preparation of flank steak and caesar salad. Much garlic was minced in honor of the birthday. We watched two episodes of Downton Abby -- everyone got sucked in. Deven cried when Sybil received her father's blessing to marry Tom. The presentation of the cake, inscribed Happy Birthday W.G.D., was accompanied by what had to be the WORST singing ever. Some people sang in Spanish (Happy Birthdayo to you-o).
Drew's first words Monday morning were: I am glad it is my birthday MONTH and not just one day.

For Woobie -- day 2 so far

Breakfast at The Stuffed Pig in Marathon, no joke, The Stuffed Pig. It was more like brunch and was delicious even though I don't love looking at paintings of dancing pigs while eating bacon.
Drove by Grandpa's old condo, took a short walk on the all new Sombrero beach which is beautiful. We asked the kayak man where he got his Tshirt "Life is short. Paddle hard." which would make a very cool gift for Uncle Dave. Alas, he had them made himself  and has no more.
Did a short hike at the much touted Blue Hole National Wildlife Refuge. Saw 2 alligators which may or may not have been mechanical (kidding) hanging out by the overlook. Saw the result of prescribed burning, pretty cool looking. Tried to find some Key deer for Kathryn to ogle.
More to follow.

For Cameron

Yes Cameron, we are missing you and had a discussion on whether it would make you feel better or worse to fill you in on every little detail and we couldn't decide, so I thought I would write this and then you can either read it or not. I feel confident one of those two things will happen. ....Details like gluten free sweet potato panckaes for breakafst and Deven going kayaking  and seeing a 1,000 pound manatee who the neighbors in the canal where he (she?) hangs out have named, are you ready: Manny.  When D and Kaka went kayaking Henry jumped in the canal and swam after them THREE times before I got his leash and restrained him -- he was pulling so hard I couldn't restrain him simply by holding his collar. He appears to loooooove swimming, so far has only gone in when someone is in the water either swimming or in a kayak. My fear is he will climb out across the canal which puts him far away neighborhood wise. Meanwhile dad and Joe were fishing and one fish latched itself onto Joe's finger and Drew got it off with pliers. They seem disappointed in the catch but we have enough for dinner. The Giants flag is still flying proudly off the dock. Many books are piled around the house -- good thing as a cold front is on its way. Excitement is building for dad's birthday -- cards and packages arriving. Yahoo.